Notes from China

In short, it was not as amazing as I thought. Unexpectedly, it was the people there that had given me the strongest impressions. I thought my family and relatives would have left me a bigger influence. Below are some notes extracted from my travel journal:

Omg. I'm at Beijing Airport. It's like a fashion show at the airport terminal! The girls are skinny, well dressed, and for the most part attractive. And they all look somewhat alike!

The architecture at airport is chaotic at best.

Omg. Sticker shock. And yet people are willing to pay for it!! Such propensity to consume is unbelievable.

Omg Chinese drivers. I have not seen a single turn signal since I arrived here. Road rage, I later learned, is very common. I went back to the place where I spent much of my childhood and my early teenage years. It saddened me as I didn't feel a gush of new memories. I wanted to feel something, but sadly I didn't feel much.

What was on my mind during the first few days I arrived? I felt a sense of loneliness and foreignness that I had not expected. I was timid and my eyes opened wide trying to absorb everything I see. I wondered where are my friends and where is she, that special one.

It was hard to get a conversation going with someone you don't know. As if neither of us really deserves it.

During the hour long train ride to Harbin from Daqing, I've come to the admission that changes that I was observing aren't what I've expected. Changes, from urban landscape to how people behave and think, to the emerging culture, seem to have gone to a threshold that is hard for me to accept. Perhaps it is not as congruent, pleasing, or delightful as I thought. I realized I did have an expectation before the trip, however unrealistic or idealistic it was.

During my stay with the family, I realize how loving they are and they inspire me to be more loving. At the same time, I wanted to be left alone and I wanted to cultivate my own experience.

At Zhengzhou airport ready to depart for Shanghai, there is a moment of joy and relief. I finally have the opportunity to experience myself and to go on an adventure.

At the time, I was convinced that if I stay in China for one more month, it will drive me insane. Now after I came back, I tend to accept it more.

Shanghai reminds me of the book "Ugly Americans", in which the western banks had "robbed" Japan for billions. Shanghai is still the wild wild west, a frontier territory for western establishments, despite the growth in recent years.

Across China, there were basically three topics of concerns. Invest in real estate; Stocks investing/trading; Buying a car. You'd be surprised if anything else existed!

People feel very wealthy in China. They are confident and complacent at the same time. The slightly above-average crowd demand nothing but the best.  The society is extremely unfair and ruthless. But people are accustomed to it. People have put way too much emphasis on wealth and social status. It is sad to see people who should be benefited by the economic transformation had not been properly rewarded, while the wealth had really gone to the hands of the select few.

I watching a dating show on TV. For some reason, all the shows about relationships seem to revolve around the similar theme.

You are desirable only if:
you're beautiful from outside; You make good money; You own a house/car, or can afford a house/car; Your residence is in a big city like Shanghai.

It is absolutely sickening to watch people expressing their opinions with such bias, such impatience, and such selfishness. Yet this is mainstream. My god, where is the truth about love.

China is such a vulnerable nation. I don't mean natural disasters or economic or political instability but emotional vulnerability.